The chaos that lives in me

This art is inspired by a moment when one of my fears wanted to see the sunlight in a reality gap, in what I felt, what I experienced at that moment, the moment when my mind disconnected from reality and took me to the past, to the hospital where my mother was hospitalized before she died, Then years later another relative in the same condition and as a cruel game of destiny died in the same hospital, my mind took me to that hallway, where the nursing room was, while my rational mind wondered surprised, what am I doing back here? And I tried to look around me looking for a bit of the real place where I knew I was, but I could not only observe the walls of that hospital. When my mind finally managed to break free and leave that place, to return to my present, to the real place where I was, I panicked, what the hell had happened? How my fear had played with my mind? How the hell did it manage to take me out of reality? While I was asking myself these questions my whole body was filled with such despair that I just wanted to run away, scream, cry, however, being in a public place I did my best to control myself, so I quickly left that place and returned home. When I got home I was completely scattered, I was prey to my fears, the pain consumed me inside, I did not understand what had happened, I wished someone could have seen inside my soul at that moment, as I was bleeding, I was broken, finally I just started to draw to capture on a canvas the chaos that inhabited my being. Png 4096×4096